1. Create a concrete process, don’t leave it to chance.
    Develop a set of steps for resolving conflict that you can use well and that are effective for you. By using these consistently, you’ll use your time efficiently and effectively, set expectations for your team, and avoid the appearance of favoritism.
  2. Learn from other people’s conflicts by practicing.
    Think about conflicts you’ve had, and how your perspective changed as you learned more about the other person’s point of view. Observe conflicts between other people. Learn to see how the same event can be viewed multiple ways, and you’ll gain perspective that will help you solve conflicts more quickly.
  3. Deal with conflict when it arises.
    Resolve conflict quickly, and avoid the problems that conflict causes in the workplace: time in dealing with unhappy team members, missed deadlines, absenteeism, poor quality of work, and ineffective teamwork. To calculate the cost of conflict to your team, go to Workplace Conflict and How Businesses can Harness it to Thrive
  4. Blame yourself.
    No, really. Just for a second. Imagine, for a moment, that you are contributing to the problem. If it’s true, change your own behavior and reduce your stress from conflict. Then forgive yourself and move on.
  5. Reward yourself for dealing with difficult people.
    You get demands from all sides – your team, your managers, C-suite, the clients. When you have to have a difficult conversation with someone, or a conversation with a difficult person, decide on a reward you’ll give yourself when the conversation is over. Then give it to yourself, even if the conversation wasn’t as difficult as you thought it would be.
  6. Create your own mental space and perspective.
    Avoid triggering the “fight or flight” response with techniques that allow you to see other people’s actions towards you as not personal. For example, imagine the other person as a localized natural disaster, such as a tornado or thunderstorm, that is only around that person and from which you are completely safe.
  7. Don’t be the “pointy haired manager” from Dilbert.
    If someone is afraid of you, they will be harder to work with. The team member who seems like a problem may be unhappy, or scared of speaking up.
  8. Build productivity, not rapport.
    You may never get along with some people. Find a way to work with them, and don’t worry if you never find them likeable.
  9. Learn a foreign language.
    If you have a hard time understanding your team members, do a quick Web search for basic information about their job. Eliminate bafflement and frustration by speaking their language.
  10. Imagine that you’re fine, it’s your environment that’s the problem.
    Promoting effective conflict resolution within the entire organization will make conflicts within your team easier to deal with. Talk to upper management about the time and money that can be saved by dealing with conflict efficiently. For more information on how to calculate the costs of conflict in an organization, go to Measuring Conflict: Both The Hidden Costs and the Benefits of Conflict Management Interventions, and Conflict Management Toolbox
Brainstorm Good Ideas Even When Your Mind Goes Dead
Brainstorm Good Ideas Even When Your Mind Goes Dead -- Some Examples

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