1) Start out by saying something that you know the other person will find insulting, offensive, or just plain outrageous. 2) Do whatever you want and ignore everyone else. 3) Try to get the mediator on your side. 4) Refuse to listen to the other person’s point of view…
Are you new to Scrum? Are you on a new Scrum team? If you’re wondering how you’ll survive the “forming” and “storming” phases of group development, I have some ideas. 1) Be patient. 2) Observe everyone. 3)…
I stopped a bully the other day. He was big, he was tall, and he was rude, and he was in the face of someone shorter and smaller. Even though I’m only average height and weight, I stopped that bully. You can stop bullies, too. You use what’s called “noncomplementary behavior.” You act like the bully isn’t there…
If you’re white, and you think that you can resolve disputes or clear up misunderstandings with someone who isn’t white just by “keeping an open mind,” you’ll never be effective. What you really need is experience around people who are different from you, to learn in your heart how different their experiences can be. Here’s how…
If I could tell people one thing from my years as a mediator, it would be this: choosing mediation doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. It means that you’re strong, principled, and fair; that you’re working to get what you really need; you know it’s never too late to…
It breaks my heart when my clients won’t try to mend work relationships. They don’t seem to see how much they’re sabotaging themselves and their business. But when my clients do mend work relationships, they get back that relationship that was so engaged, productive, and beneficial to everyone. Here are four steps that work…
As a mediator, one of the things I tell my clients in preparation for the mediation is: at some point during the mediation, you may think you’re not progressing towards a resolution. This is normal. All it means is that you’re working hard to resolve the dispute. You may be talking about issues you haven’t talked about before, you may be…