1) Start out by saying something that you know the other person will find insulting, offensive, or just plain outrageous. 2) Do whatever you want and ignore everyone else. 3) Try to get the mediator on your side. 4) Refuse to listen to the other person’s point of view…
Have you ever been on a team that’s had problems getting along and working well together? Here are three secrets from a mediator, to surviving and thriving on self-organizing teams: 1) be patient, 2) accept ambiguity, 3) Solve interpersonal problems incrementally…
We’re living in a time of angry conversations, especially on social media. Especially if the topic is politics, conversations quickly degrade into insults, ad hominem attacks, and lordly assertions that “I’m done, have a nice day!” Here are five steps to having civil conversations…
Are you new to Scrum? Are you on a new Scrum team? If you’re wondering how you’ll survive the “forming” and “storming” phases of group development, I have some ideas. 1) Be patient. 2) Observe everyone. 3)…
I stopped a bully the other day. He was big, he was tall, and he was rude, and he was in the face of someone shorter and smaller. Even though I’m only average height and weight, I stopped that bully. You can stop bullies, too. You use what’s called “noncomplementary behavior.” You act like the bully isn’t there…
If you’re white, and you think that you can resolve disputes or clear up misunderstandings with someone who isn’t white just by “keeping an open mind,” you’ll never be effective. What you really need is experience around people who are different from you, to learn in your heart how different their experiences can be. Here’s how…
If I could tell people one thing from my years as a mediator, it would be this: choosing mediation doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. It means that you’re strong, principled, and fair; that you’re working to get what you really need; you know it’s never too late to…